


Until You Try

by Nadat



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Betting Pool, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Screenplay/Script Format, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadat/pseuds/Nadat
Summary: Julian has a realization that everyone else already had but since he can't run to Ops to excitedly talk about his feelings about a spy he has to work it out over the comms.(The original intent was to submit this as a zoom play option but then Nicole de Boer was unavailable and I had no reason to expect Colm Meany to join so I didn't send it in.)
Relationships: Ezri Dax & Kira Nerys, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50
Collections: Sid City Social Club Script Collection





	Until You Try

_INT-Dark room, evening  
The lights are off. _

COMPUTER (VO):  
Incoming transmission. (pause) Incoming transmission.

MILES:  
Right, right, I hear you, hang on, what time even is it?

COMPUTER (VO):  
The time is 0300 hours.

MILES:  
Bloody hell. Computer, lights.

_Lights come on, revealing a room that outside of pandemic times would be a bedroom but since it’s a pandemic it’s whatever the heck Colm Meany would be using for a zoom if he would join a zoom. He looks tired, and is outfit is as pajama-like as possible._

MILES:  
Computer, on screen.

_JULIAN BASHIR’s face fills the screen. He looks anxious, fidgeting a little, but after a moment he breaks out into a smile._

JULIAN:  
Miles! How are you?

MILES:  
It’s 0300 on Earth, Julian. How do you think I am?

_JULIAN looks sheepish._

JULIAN:  
Oh. I forgot to calculate the time difference between Deep Space Nine and Earth. I’m sorry. Should I let you go?

MILES:  
(sighs heavily) No, no. I’m up and Keiko’s not here this week so you’re not waking anyone else. What’s going on, Julian?

JULIAN:  
I think I made a mistake.

MILES:  
In calling me at 0300?

JULIAN:  
Miles.

MILES:  
(smiling) I had to. It was that or start listing off all of the mistakes you’ve made in the years I’ve known you and I don’t think we have enough time for that.

JULIAN:  
Miles.

MILES:  
Good, Julian. You figured out who you called. Now are you going to tell me? Because I’m not gonna try to actually guess when I’m half-asleep.

JULIAN:  
I let Garak go, Miles.

MILES:  
...yes? Of course you did. Did you think you could get him to stay on the station? Being a tailor? The only thing that man was ever honest about was wanting to go back to Cardassia.

JULIAN:  
No, no. I let him go. 

MILES:  
(slowly) Yes? 

JULIAN:  
He said goodbye and left and I let him.

MILES:  
What, did he owe you money? Did he take a pair of your pants that he’d been altering? You can find another tailor.

JULIAN:  
I like him, Miles.

MILES:  
I’d certainly hope so. You spent enough lunches with--oh. Oh. No. Julian, no. Not the Cardassian? Even Worf’s a better choice and I’ve had to work with him for a decade!

JULIAN:  
The Cardassian, Miles. And I let him go.

_MILES sinks back in his chair and takes a few moments before sighing and shaking his head._

MILES:  
You’re a nimrod.

JULIAN:  
Actually--

MILES:  
Don’t. Look. If this is serious, then you have to talk to him. There’s no easy way out, and sometimes talking’s a pain in the ass, but that’s the only way things work. 

JULIAN:  
Talk with Garak.

MILES:  
It’s that or really let him go.

_BOTH are quiet for a few moments again._

JULIAN:  
Thank you. I have some thinking to do. I’ll call you back later?

MILES:  
I don’t want details, Julian. I didn’t want details about all of the other officers you were chasing either. Invite me to the wedding or tell me if you need to come over so we can drink and set something of his on fire but otherwise only call to chat with me and the family.

JULIAN:  
Of course. Goodnight, Miles.

_MILES signs off. JULIAN sits for a few moments before exhaling._

JULIAN:  
Dr. Bashir to Major Kira.

_KIRA comes on screen._

KIRA:  
Kira here. What can I do for you, doctor?

JULIAN:  
I’ve made a mistake. I think I… no. I need to request a leave of absence.

KIRA:  
Are you really saddling me with more paperwork?

JULIAN:  
(laughs) The transition isn’t easing up yet?

KIRA:  
No. It’s not. Not yet. Is this about you and Ezri breaking up?

JULIAN:  
No I mean yes, but no.. It’s Garak.

KIRA:  
I thought he left five days ago.

JULIAN:  
He did.

KIRA:  
Julian, I have two angry vedeks, three impatient admirals, several orders I need to sign off on, and Jake wants an interview. You’ve got to give me something to go on here.

JULIAN:  
(slowly) I think I shouldn’t have let him go.

KIRA:  
What?

JULIAN:  
I think I have feelings for, no. I know I have feelings for him, and I think he feels something for me too.

KIRA:  
...Sisko’s going to be pissed he missed this.

JULIAN:  
What?

KIRA:  
I think he just won the betting pool.

JULIAN:  
Betting pool? Excuse me?

KIRA:  
The betting pool on when you figured out any of that. Darnit. That means Quark gets to keep all of it! You couldn’t have clued in three months ago? Or waited another half-year? 

JULIAN:  
Betting pool on me… and Garak?

KIRA:  
Just on you. Everyone knew about him. Well, maybe not Miles.

JULIAN:  
I called Miles first. He definitely didn’t know.

KIRA:  
Of course not. Look. Yes. You probably made a mistake. But did you?

JULIAN:  
I don’t follow.

KIRA:  
If it was just a matter of the heart I’d say go for it. Go for him. But you’re Starfleet, Julian, and he loves Cardassia. One of you would have to give up who they work for and it won’t be him. It was hard enough when Vedek Bareil and I were together, keeping up with each other, and we were both on Bajor’s side. 

JULIAN:  
(slowly) And you think we wouldn’t be on the same side.

KIRA:  
Cardassia will come first for him. Often, if not always.

JULIAN:  
Over the Federation, or over me?

KIRA:  
I don’t know, Julian. I can’t tell you that. (a pause.) Was there anything else I could help you with?

JULIAN:  
No, thank you. And thank you for the news about Jabara. She’s been an asset and I was hoping to keep her. ...I was hoping Deep Space Nine could keep her.

KIRA:  
Of course. Kira out.

_KIRA signs out and Julian is quiet for a few moments before he reaches for the console again._

JULIAN:  
Computer, open a channel to Jake Sisko.

COMPUTER:  
Working.

_JAKE SISKO comes onto the screen._

JAKE:  
Hey, Julian. What’s up?

JULIAN:  
I had a few questions and I thought you might have better answers than the databanks, if you’re free?

JAKE:  
Yeah, sure. I got some time, and a few sources some places don’t have. What do you need to know?

JULIAN:  
How’s Cardassia doing? As in, how is the rebuilding really going?

JAKE:  
Uh. I would have thought you’d know that better than me. You haven’t spoken with Garak since he left?

JULIAN:  
I haven’t, no.

JAKE:  
As far as I know, the Federation promised aid but hasn’t sent it, the Romulans aren’t doing anything, Grand Nagus Rom is sending some older replicator models over, Chancellor Martok made a speech yesterday saying that some Cardassians had honor so perhaps the Klingon government should support them a little, but there aren’t any actual offers of help yet. 

JULIAN:  
So it could still use help.

JAKE:  
Yeah. It could. You thinking of trying to start a fundraiser? Donation drive? I could reach out to people and get you publicity.

JULIAN:  
I’m thinking of going.

JAKE:  
Oh! Medical support. Yeah, that would go well. I can put out some feelers to see who else would be interested in a group effort.

JULIAN:  
I meant just me, Jake. I was wondering if one doctor would be helpful.

JAKE:  
Anything would help at this point, I think. They’re… The Dominion wasn’t nice. I heard someone say it was like they had a vendetta against Cardassia.

JULIAN:  
They did. 

JAKE:  
They did?

JULIAN:  
I’m sorry. I don’t mean for that to become a story. I don’t know how many know about… what happened to the Obsidian Order, and I don’t think it should get out.

JAKE:  
Well. It could be recorded for now to be released in a decade? Some sort of retrospective?

JULIAN:  
(laughs) Ask me about it again in a decade and I’ll let you know.

JAKE:  
All right, all right. You said a few questions. What else?

JULIAN:  
Did I? I may have misspoken. But do you know how Garak’s getting on?

JAKE:  
Pretty well? I’ve heard his name a couple of times, people know he helped Damar and lost the last bit of his family for Cardassia and family’s pretty big for Cardassians.

JULIAN:  
...lost the last bit of his family?

JAKE:  
Yeah, you didn’t hear? I guess his dad died some time ago but his mom helped shelter Kira, Garak, and Damar and then got killed for it. 

JULIAN:  
...I hadn’t heard. He didn’t say.

JAKE:  
It wasn’t like he told me either, if that’s any comfort. I overheard Kira telling Dad.

JULIAN:  
Of course.

JAKE:  
So maybe pretty well isn’t the best way to say it. 

JULIAN:  
Maybe not. Thank you, Jake.

JAKE:  
Yeah? That’s it? Okay. You’re welcome. And ten years, Julian. I’m gonna remember that.

_JULIAN laughs and JAKE signs off. There’s a short break as JULIAN mulls over what he’s heard before he looks at the computer again._

JULIAN:  
Computer. Open a channel to Garak on Cardassia.

COMPUTER:  
Working.

_There are a few beeps as the computer works. It’s not an instant connection. Then ELIM GARAK is seen on screen, looking a little wary but mostly happy._

GARAK:  
Doctor! To what do I owe this pleasure?

JULIAN:  
(warming up right away) I did say we’d speak again.

GARAK:  
So you did. How are you? It’s just about lunchtime there, isn’t it? 

JULIAN:  
You know, it is, actually.

GARAK:  
A long distance lunch. How touching, my dear.

JULIAN:  
I thought it might be nice. Considering… everything.

GARAK:  
Oh, everything? That seems like a great deal to take into consideration. Is there something specific on your mind?

JULIAN:  
Other than you?

GARAK:  
(pauses so very briefly before laughing) Do keep up with the flattery, doctor. It’s a relief to hear it from someone who isn’t angling for their name to be writ large in the history books.

JULIAN:  
...No. No, I, I mean it, Garak.

GARAK:  
Of course you do. You’ve always been kind and sincere, perhaps even to a fault.

JULIAN:  
Elim.

_GARAK stops, going still._

GARAK:  
Doctor.

JULIAN:  
I made a mistake.

GARAK:  
In using my given name? On the contrary, you now have my undivided attention. That was what you were after, was it not?

JULIAN:  
In letting you go.

_GARAK understands what Julian might mean now, but it’s clear he’s not quite ready to be open to that risk. There’s a nervousness to his false confidence and exaggeration now._

GARAK:  
I was not about to stay on the station. It was going to be even more overrun with Bajorans, and that was a headache I didn’t need to deal with. There might even have been more Starfleet officers, and no offense, my dear, but--

JULIAN:  
Elim, please. This isn’t easy.

GARAK:  
What, talking to me? You should have mentioned that years ago.

JULIAN:  
The only times talking to you hasn’t been easy is when you’re being like this!

GARAK:  
Like what? Talkative? Would you prefer me quiet, doctor?

JULIAN:  
I would prefer you listening.

GARAK:  
Oh, my dear. I’ve always been listening. I’ve heard any number of things said and unsaid. A great many unsaid things have in fact had more weight than things carelessly said, so if you want me listening you should specify what you want me listening to.

JULIAN:  
I don’t--no. I’m not going to be distracted. I’m trying to say I should have gone with you.

GARAK:  
What, and break your Starfleet assignment?

JULIAN:  
There were people I could have spoken with.

GARAK:  
To what end? A new bit of frontier medicine as we deal from the fallout of what the Dominion left behind? Do you want to be the hero uplifting the poor broken Cardassian people, the Starfleet doctor who took pity on them when they’d fallen so far? Do you want to feel smug and superior, doctor?

JULIAN:  
Why do you do this?

GARAK:  
Do what? Ask questions that make you think? Realize that you haven’t thought things through enough?

JULIAN:  
Garak, I want to come there for you.

GARAK:  
And then what?

JULIAN:  
What?

GARAK:  
So you come here, you follow me, for what? What happens then?

JULIAN:  
I thought you’d be happy to hear I was interested.

GARAK:  
Did you.

JULIAN:  
Yes? Kira, Ezri, Leeta, they all knew that you were into me. There were betting pools, Garak!

GARAK:  
There were. Incidentally, I lost my bet.

JULIAN:  
...what? I don’t…

GARAK:  
Doctor--

JULIAN:  
Julian, at the very least, after all this time. I’m here admitting that I was a fool and that I’m interested, the least you can do is call me by name.

_GARAK’s expression softens a little._

GARAK:  
Julian. I tried for seven years to get your attention, seven years when I seemingly had all of the time in the universe. And now my world and my people need me. I have responsibilities again, and you still have them. What am I supposed to say to this? You can’t abandon your duty and I cannot and will not abandon mine. Our time, my dear, has passed.

JULIAN:  
No.

GARAK:  
...No?

JULIAN:  
No. I won’t accept that answer, and the fact that you’re saying it outright means that you don’t either. 

GARAK:  
(smiling faintly) Is that what I mean?

JULIAN:  
I know you. I might have missed some signs for quite some time, but I know you, Elim.

GARAK:  
You clearly think you do, at least.

JULIAN:  
My assignment ends in two weeks, but I’m putting in for a leave of absence and coming to Cardassia. I’ll work as a doctor and help out however I’m needed, but I want to come for you.

GARAK:  
I do appreciate how the universal translator took that on.

JULIAN:  
What?

GARAK:  
(waves it off). A leave of absence says you’re not certain, doc--Julian.

JULIAN:  
I don’t have the greatest track record when it comes to relationships.

GARAK:  
So you want a possible way out, should you need it.

JULIAN:  
You’d question it if I didn’t, too. You’d question whatever I say because that’s what you do. You push me. You challenge me. And I… I miss that. In only five days I found myself missing you.

GARAK:  
We’ve been apart before.

JULIAN:  
And each time I thought my worry was because of the dangers one or the other of us was facing. Especially when you went to Cardassia with Kira. Now I know better.

_GARAK looks at JULIAN, observing and weighing, before finally inclining his head._

GARAK:  
I fear I only have a gardening shed at the moment, Julian, but you’re welcome to share it with me.

JULIAN:  
(starting to smile) What, no declarations back?

GARAK:  
Would you believe them if I made them?

JULIAN:  
You never know until you try.

GARAK:  
I’ll keep that in mind, Julian.

JULIAN:  
Is there anything I should know to prepare?

GARAK:  
Don’t bother bringing much clothing.

_[A beat.]_

JULIAN:  
Are you suggesting…

GARAK:  
You have no sense of fashion or the human form. I’ll make you some suitable things during all of these tedious meetings, pieces that won’t offend the sensibilities of any sentient creature.

JULIAN:  
Excuse me!

GARAK:  
There’s no excuse for you there, my dearest.

JULIAN:  
I happen to--what?

GARAK:  
Get in touch when you know when you’ll be arriving. I’ll have the place ready.

JULIAN:  
But did you say--

_GARAK ends transmission, leaving JULIAN alone on the screen looking a little astounded. Then, after a few moments, he leans forward and taps the computer._

JULIAN:  
Computer. Record message to send to Miles O’Brien, begin. I know you said you didn’t want details, but you’ll never guess what he called me.

_Fade out. A computer beeping noise is heard again as GARAK’s face comes on screen._

GARAK:  
Computer. Access contact list, open a channel to Dax, Lieutenant Ezri

COMPUTER:  
Working.

_A moment passes, and EZRI DAX joins GARAK on screen._

EZRI:  
Garak. I had a feeling you’d be calling.

GARAK:  
You’ve grown more astute as time has gone on, my dear.

EZRI:  
As I figured out who I was.

GARAK:  
(tilts his head) You’ve been working on that. I was wondering how that was going, especially after certain recent events.

EZRI:  
The rumor mill reaches Cardassia now?

GARAK:  
Would you believe me if I told you he told me?

EZRI:  
Julian Bashir made an effort to actually communicate? Either you’re lying or we have a changeling issue again.

GARAK:  
Now, now. He’s never intentionally bad at communicating. He simply, for all of his intelligence, doesn’t always know what he’s thinking.

EZRI:  
Or feeling.

GARAK:  
Or feeling

EZRI:  
And you’re calling to find out how he’s feeling? Or because he said something about feelings?

GARAK:  
He seems to have decided I have feelings for him, and he may return them. I thought that perhaps, before he arrived at my door, I should know how his previous relationship ended.

EZRI:  
It’s fairly simple. I broke up with him.

GARAK:  
Ah.

EZRI:  
Did you hope for something different?

GARAK:  
I don’t hope, my dear. It’s not particularly useful. But I am aware of what’s more promising for future relationships, and what is more likely to indicate a rebound.

EZRI:  
If it helps, part of the reason why I ended things was because I realized he wasn’t in love with me as much as he was in love with the idea of me.

GARAK:  
Considering how much he’s in love with the idea of a spy’s life, I don’t find that particularly comforting, no.

EZRI:  
So I guess you have to decide if you’re going to take a chance or not. 

GARAK:  
Isn’t this when you ask what harm could be in taking said chance, full of Starfleet optimism and eagerness for new risks?

EZRI:  
I know what harm could happen. This Dax is a counselor, Garak.

GARAK:  
So you are. So, Counselor, what would you suggest?

EZRI:  
What would you regret more, not taking the chance, or taking it and eventually breaking up?

GARAK:  
That’s one way to look at it.

EZRI:  
How else would you look at it?

GARAK:  
That perhaps I have a great deal of work ahead of me and have no time for distractions. Or that perhaps this is folly.

EZRI:  
If you have it figured out as a waste of time, why did you need me?

GARAK:  
To confirm my concerns.

EZRI:  
That’s a lie.

GARAK:  
My dear--

EZRI:  
You wanted something to help you doubt that you and him could work. You don’t hope, that was true, because you’re afraid to hope. So you’re trying to find reasons not to hope so if it falls apart you can point and go ‘see, I knew it!’ And all you’re really doing is setting yourself up for failure. 

_There’s a significant pause as both look at each other._

EZRI:  
You did call a counselor.

GARAK:  
One who has clearly found herself, no less. 

EZRI:  
Themself.

GARAK:  
Ah, so you decided upon those as well.

EZRI:  
I did. A lot of thinking and self-reflection helped me figure out more about what I’m feeling and who I am. I’d recommend it to you, but obviously you’re no longer my patient.

GARAK:  
Obviously.

EZRI:  
You don’t have to be that sarcastic about it.

GARAK:  
Oh, I think I do. I also think I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you, I think.

EZRI:  
You’re welcome, I think.

_GARAK signs off. A few moments go by and EZRI taps her combadge._

EZRI:  
Ezri to Nerys.

KIRA:  
Nerys here. Which one called you?

EZRI:  
Garak.

KIRA:  
Really?.

EZRI:  
Really. We should let Quark know to set up a new betting pool.

KIRA:  
What is there to bet on?

EZRI:  
How long until we get wedding invites.

KIRA:  
...Three months. Julian’s always been a romantic, and Garak’s waited seven years.

EZRI:  
Tell Quark, not me! And I’m going to put my bet at three and a half now just to block you out.

KIRA:  
I’m going to assign all of Telnorri’s Ferengi clients to you.

EZRI:  
Five months. I’ll bet five.

KIRA:  
We can tell Quark and place our bets over dinner, if you’re still free for it.

EZRI:  
Unless I get surprise Ferengi clients.

KIRA:  
(laughs) Dinner, then. 

EZRI:  
Dinner.

_BOTH sign off. FIN._


End file.
